Chapter 16: Let Me Sell You This

It was already eight o’clock by the time I stepped out of the office. For the past two weeks, I had been seeing the moon on my way home. Yes, I had been working for twelve hours a day. I remembered that during my interview, I asked Rose what were the working hours like. She laughed and replied “Eight thirty to five thirty. By right”. It did not take more than a month for me to figure out what the laughter and “by right” were supposed to mean. To leave the office at six was a luxury; to leave at seven was normal.

From Suntec City, I walked through the City Link underground shopping tunnel to Citihall MRT station. It was in utter chaos as usual. The crowd rushing from City Link split into two crowds – one towards the MRT station and the other towards the Raffles City shopping center. The crowd who had just alighted from the train split into another two crowds - one towards City Link and the other towards the Raffles City shopping center. The crowd coming down the escalator from Raffles City shopping center split into yet another two crowds – one towards the MRT station and the other towards City Link. If a coin was dropped onto the ground, it would be kicked and lost in the blink of an eye.

I barged through the chaotic crowd and walked briskly through the MRT station gate. I then took the escalator down to the station platform to join other kindred souls who were rushing home with an empty stomach and an empty brain. A few minutes later, a crowded train arrived to throw out an excited crowd rushing to shops and dinners, so that it could be refilled by an enervated crowd who just wanted to find a seat and sleep all the way home.

I had never considered myself an agile or lucky person, so I was not surprised that I could not find a seat on the train again. Well, the Health Promotion Board recommended that thirty minutes of exercise a day is good for health right? Hopefully the act of balancing in a moving train for thirty minutes could be considered as a good exercise. Just when I was going to plug in the earphones and listen to my MD player, somebody tapped me on my shoulder.

I turned around to see a guy neatly dressed in an ocean blue wrinkle-free long sleeve shirt and a pair of black trousers, and holding a black document bag. His smile was as slick as his greased-back hair and Giorgio Armani spectacles. When such a fresh and energetic guy was found in a train leaving town area on a weekday evening, he was either on the way to propose to his girlfriend, or to sell something.

This guy looked familiar and I guessed we must have known each other at some point in time because he was calling my name.

“Beng! Have you forgotten about me already?” Mr. looks-familiar grinned.
“No, how would I? How’s life? You are looking better than you used to!”

That was a safe line. Everybody believes that at any point in life they are always looking better than how they were previously.

“Yeh, glad I left the company. Too much pressure. How about you? Are you still there?” said Mr. seems-like-an-ex-colleague.
“Yap, nowhere to run.”
“So how’s everybody at the Latin America FX team? Is Simon Hatcher still the head?” asked Mr. so-and-so-from-Latin-America-FX-team.
“Yeh, he’s still there alive and kicking asses. So what have you been doing?”
“Oh, I’m now in Marketing. Here’s my name card!”

The card read “Peter Sim, Marketing Consultant, Livelife Inc.” So he was not on his way to present a marriage proposal.

For the next fifteen minutes, Mr. Sim was very concerned with the water that I entrusted my life to. He was worried that the unclean water that passed through dirty and rusty water pipes before reaching my tap could cost me my kidneys, lungs and livers and put me in a grievous old age. And with the reservoirs opening up to water activities, he could not bring himself to believe the government’s claim that those water activities will not affect our drinking water. He thanked God that it was really my lucky day because I had to meet him on the train. This grave peril of losing my organs because of drinking water could be averted easily by purchasing a water filter that cost merely over a thousand dollars from him. In fact, if I were to join his company as one of the marketing consultants, I could have further discounts that already very reasonably priced water filter.

“Beng, think about it. If you join our company as a freelance marketing consultant, not only can you buy our products at great discounts, you can earn substantial commissions!”
“Err… Peter, you know how busy my work can be right?”
“You don’t have to worry about that at all! As a freelance marketing consultant, you can always work only when you’re free and there’s no pressure in meeting any quota at all!”
“Err… I really don’t think I’ve got the time to do any freelancing.”
“Oh… well, never mind, I tell you what. Since we’re such great pals, I must get you the discount for the water filter. Just between the two of us, I’ll pretend that I’m the one buying the water filter, and you can get the member’s privileged discount for it! How about that, pal?”

I told him that I was very grateful, however very unfortunately, I had already bought a water filter just months ago. Of course I did not tell him that my water filter was a simple one that cost me less than a hundred dollars. Instead, I told him that I paid a few hundred dollars for that new water filter and I could not just throw it away. I did not expect him to get even more concerned and more worked up.

“No, you don’t understand. Those water filters that are selling in the market are dangerous! They can’t do a clean job in removing the debris from the water! And worse, sometimes the chemicals that are used in these filters actually pollute the water further!”
“Erm… but the one that I bought was certified by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a Microbiological Water Purifier.” I knew I read these terms somewhere in the Forbes magazine.
“But Beng, how can you trust something that is certified by the U.S.? Everybody can be certified by them! As someone working in the water treatment industry, I can tell you the standards set by these U.S. agencies can’t be trusted. That’s why our water filters are more superior. Our company’s water filters are certified by the United Kingdom!”

Before he could continue to brag about how the new desalination plant had initially wanted to use their company’s water filter, but because their filters were so out of stock they had to reject the plant, I told him that I had reached my station and I needed to go.

“Hey Beng, you have forgotten to give me your name card!”
“Oh, I ran out of name cards. But no worries, I’ve got yours.”
“Oh yes, call me okay?” Mr. Sim reminded me before the train door closed.

I waved him goodbye as the train moved away from the station. I looked up at the station sign. Yio Chu Kang. Not so bad, I was only a few stations away from my destination. Patiently, I waited for the next train.

Partially due to the trend of retrenchments a few years back, more people had joined the multi-level marketing workforce. The marketing consultants from these multi-level marketing companies will recruit new people to either buy into the program or to buy products that are totally unheard of but grossly overpriced. The new recruits will then recruit additional people who will also buy into the program or buy the products. The whole process just goes on. That is where the word ‘multi-level’ comes from. As for the word ‘marketing’, they might be using the wrong word.

All marketing consultants are promised that if they could create multiple layers of sellers under them, the amount of accrued commissions could lead them to riches that they could never dream of. But the sad truth is only the big boss who started the program is really making loads of money. All others have spent their commissions buying bulks of those overpriced products themselves.

Finally I reached the station I had intended to alight. As I walked down the escalator, I was approached by a well dressed lady holding a notepad and pen on one hand, and a cup of colored straws on the other.

“Hi, could you spare me a minute?” the lady asked politely.
“No,” I had already spared somebody else my minutes.
“Just a quick one, okay? We’re offering a free lucky draw!”

‘Free’ lucky draw? Since when must we pay for lucky draws?

“What is it about?”
“I’m from ABC Insurance and we are having a road show promotion on our latest insurance products. If you managed to draw the lucky straw among these other straws in the cup, you could win yourself free accident cover for a year!” she said avidly.
“It’s okay. I’m already covered by other insurance policies.”
“But why don’t you give the lucky draw a shoot? Just draw a straw from this cup! It’s free anyway!”
“No, really, it’s okay. Thanks!” With that, I walked away briskly before she could continue.

As I walked past their booth area, I saw a couple of tables and some people really talking to those insurance agents. But who knows? They could be only interested in getting that one year free accident cover. Perhaps I was just been too skeptical, but I could not understand how a tired and hungry person who had just finished work and was on the way home suddenly had an urge to buy insurance from somebody he/she had just met for the first time, on the street.

Then my mobile phone rang.

“Hello?”
“Hello, is that Mr. Tan Ah Beng?”
“Yes?”
“Hi, I’m Larry calling from Relax Resorts and I’ve got good news for you! You’ve just won yourself a free trip for two to Phuket from our lucky draw!”
“Another lucky draw?”
“Huh? Sorry?”
“Never mind, so what’s the catch?”
“Oh, there’s no condition attached. You’ll just have to attend a short travel presentation at our office and…”
“I’m not interested,” I cut him off and hung up the phone.

It was one of those timeshare companies again. They will lure you to their holiday resorts presentations that last for hours and pressurize you to sign up a twenty thousand dollars package that allows you to stay in holiday resorts that are usually far away from all amenities and attractions.

After dinner, I switched on my notebook. I was planning to get into eBay. Since everybody seemed to have something to sell, maybe I should try selling some of my old VCDs as well.