Chapter 7: Missing Food Scene Investigation

“This is so disgusting!” Ju hollered from her desk in aghast.

Rose, Choi, Nicky and Sally rushed to her desk and looked at a blank space in the basket where Ju’s finger was pointing.

“What happened? I don’t see any ants or cockroaches,” said the puzzled Sally.
“Somebody stole my cookies!” berated Ju. “I put a new unopened package of butter cookies here yesterday and now it’s gone!”

The basket on the corner of Ju’s desk had been used as a “food basket” by our team. Everybody in the team would contribute some food regularly, like biscuits, chocolates, chips and other snacks, and put them into the basket. As and when any of us decided to take a bite, we would just walk over and “pick and munch” from the basket. A very simple idea that kept us from getting hungry and allowed us to socialize at the same time.

However, it appeared that somebody had been stealing from this “food basket” of ours.

“Urgh… first it was my pack of potato chips, now it’s Ju’s cookies,” complained the miffed Choi.
“I think this thief is getting daring,” noted Ju. “I know he used to pick up a couple of biscuits every now and then, but now he’s taking the whole pack!”
“Maybe you guys can start to hide those unopened food below Ju’s table instead of placing them so openly in the basket?” suggested Nicky.
“No, no use. My pack of potato chips was placed under Ju’s table,” Choi shook his head.
“I just don’t understand! Why must this guy steal food from the office? I don’t believe anybody who works around here can be so poor and underprivileged!” Ju screamed again.

I could easily make a safe guess that the lowest paid executive on this floor was drawing a monthly salary of at least two thousands dollars. How poor and underprivileged can this person be? The nearest foods available were the chicken pies from the café downstairs and the food court in the building across the road. Even if he/she had not taken any meal since the night before, I was certain that he/she could make his/her way safely to these foods. How weak from hunger can this person be?

“Maybe we should try to build a profile of this thief so that we know who is the suspicious one?” suggested Rose.
“This guy definitely has a sweet tooth. I know he drank from the bottle of Terik Pepsi that I put in the fridge in the pantry,” said Choi.
“What’s a ‘Terik Pepsi’?” asked Nicky.
“Oh, it’s coffee flavored Pepsi.”
”Yak… that’s a taste for weird stuff, not sweet,” commented Sally.
“I agree he has got a sweet tooth! He ate from the tub of ice-cream that I put in the freezer as well!” remembered Nicky.
“And three pieces of chocolates that Beng got for me from London,” said Ju.
“Hang on… that thief might not be a ‘he’ after all,” analyzed Nicky. “Ju, you’re talking about those berry jam-filled heart shaped chocolates that Beng bought back? Then we should be looking at a ‘her’.”
“Why?” asked Ju.
“Because most straight guys will not appreciate eating berry jam-filled heart shaped chocolates. Well, unless he’s a gay, of course. But I’m not aware of any gay on this floor” Nicky said solemnly.

“KZ, have you ever lost any food from your table?” asked Sally.
KZ looked up from his notebook and replied, “Cereal bar.”
“Hang on…,” analyzed Nicky. “Why will a sweet toothed gal eat KZ’s low fat, no sugar, no taste cereal bar?”
“Because she was trying to neutralize the sweetness in her mouth after eating those sweet stuffs?” answered Sally.
“No! I think it’s more likely that there is more than one thief!” exclaimed Nicky.

Nicky had once again proved that he was the uncontested and undisputed product analyst of our team, with unbeatable experience in analyzing financial products, stock markets and… food stealing thieves.

“Beng, have you lost any food before?” asked Ju.
“Erm… I guess the thieves are not very keen in taking mint leaves?”

Yes, mint leaves. Because the only thing edible on my desk was the small pot of mint plant. I had chosen a pot of mint plant over the typical office plants of money plants and cactuses because I liked the fresh smell emitted from its leaves. It was easy to handle and grew fast too. Not like the three-tired bamboo plant on Nicky’s table that had a specific number of bamboo sticks on each tier. It could only be watered a specific amount of water during some specific times of the day, and it hardly grew from the time that Nicky had bought it.

After Nicky had finished writing the food that had been stolen on a piece of paper, he read from it.

“Okay, so these thieves liked weird Pepsi…”
“Terik Pepsi,” interrupted Choi.
“Terik Pepsi, ice-cream, berries-filled heart shaped chocolates, tasteless cereal bar…”
KZ looked up from his notebook and raised an eyebrow at Nicky’s description of his cereal bar.
“Potato chips, digestive biscuits, chocolate biscuits, yogurts, dried vegetable snacks and butter cookies.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of food they’ve stolen!” exclaimed Sally.
“They disliked and thus did not touch Rose’s green apples, carrot sticks and celery sticks; KZ’s wheatgrass powder and green tea bags; my preserved prunes, preserved lemon skins and preserved century eggs…”
“Nobody will steal your preserved stuffs,” interrupted Choi.
Nicky raised an eyebrow to Choi before continuing: “and Beng’s mint leaves.”

Geez, I supposed none of us would have expected such long list of food that the thieves had been stealing from us. I could understand the greed of those who stole hand soups from hotel rooms or even those who queued up twice for free food samples given away at MRT train stations. Those were simply greedy. But the greed of those who stole food from their own colleagues working in the same company? These were amorally greedy.

“What do you think we can do to prevent our food from being stolen again?” Ju asked Nicky.
“Paste a ‘do not steal our food’ sign near the basket?” suggested Nicky.
“No, it won’t work,” commented Choi. “Remember how motorists love to park next to the ‘do not park’ sign and on the double yellow lines? Pasting the sign will only prompt them to steal more.”
“How about we wrap the packets and boxes of food in newspapers as camouflage?” suggested Sally.
“Haha… you’ll find the food missing and the tore newspapers in the nearby wastepaper basket!” Choi laughed. “The more you try to cover, the more interested they will be, and the more they’ll try to find out.”

Choi was right. Warning signs never worked. Just like you can always find smokers smoking near the “no smoking” sign, like in the lift or at the bus stop. Just like you can always find people fishing near the “no fishing” signs at reservoirs. Just like you can always find people munching their burgers on the bus, standing next to the “no eating and drinking” sign.

“Stupid thieves!” Sally blurted. “Why don’t we get hold of some expired food and place them in the basket for these thieves to steal?”
“No, some people are not allergic to expired food,” Nicky mused. “We should put some itchy powder on the food packages instead!”
“Or superglue!” exclaimed Choi.
“Or put some mini mousetraps inside the food packages!” exclaimed Rose.
“And I can also ask a Taoist to write a ‘fu’ and paste it on the food basket, so that whoever that steals from us will be cursed for seven years!” Nicky suggested avidly.

Everybody stopped to stare at Nicky. His brain was running too fast again.

“Hey guys, why don’t you just lock up the basket of food before going home?” I suggested.
“It’s too troublesome!” Rose, Ju, Choi and Nicky shouted at me all at once. Talk about unity for the wrong reason.

“Actually I think I’ve got the perfect solution that will work for sure,” Choi grinned and rubbed his chin.

Everybody looked at him quietly. Even KZ looked up from his notebook.

“Why don’t we put the food basket at Dawn’s desk?” Choi suggested.

Everybody then turned and looked at Dawn’s empty desk. She was on medical leave, which explained her absence from this whole conversation.

“Though she hardly contributes, but she hardly eats these snacks as well!” interrupted the puzzled Sally.
“That’s why it’s safe there!” exclaimed the excited Choi. “And knowing how busybody she is, she won’t mind having the basket there!”
“But why won’t the thieves steal from the food basket if it’s on Dawn’s table?” asked the still puzzled Sally.
“Because Dawn will use her communication power on the MSN Messenger to ask around and find out who stole from the basket. And for those not in her contact list, she’ll walk up to their desk and ask them one by one. Imagine you’re one of the thieves and Dawn comes over to your desk to ask ‘do you know who stole from the food basket?’ everyday…”

Good Choi! That was one good method to drive the thieves mad and away.